CHOPPY DAY

Posted on by July 20, 2021

When I was a kid, I spent my summers sailing and swimming. On weekends, we’d race our boats in little weekend regattas. Either I’d crew for one of my family, or one of them would crew for me.

One weekend when I was 13, my older brother Tom was supposed to crew for me. We got the boat ready, stashed our stuff under the deck, and made sure all the lines were free of tangles.

Tom stepped out of the boat onto the pier, and pushed the boat to the end of the slip – and let go! And stood there waving and smiling … as I nearly had a heart attack, thinking OMG what’s he doing? He yells at me that it’s time for me to solo, get going!

I’m freaking – I’m going all alone? He wants me to solo? I’m only 13! I can’t do this!
Continue reading →

WINTER DREAMS

Posted on by April 2, 2021

Exactly 20 years ago today (April 1, 2021), I returned to the US from my year and a half stint as the first Artist-in-Residence for Gore, New Zealand. I left NZ at 7 am on April 1st, and after a 9 hour flight, arrived in Honolulu at 8 am on … April 1st!

I was so happy to be out of the cold, cutting winds and chilly air, back in my love-home of Hawaii! Gore is about 3000 miles away from the South Pole – with nothing but vast ocean between. The winds would come thrashing through town and it would be all I could do to even get up in the morning – I hate being cold!

I decided I’d paint how I felt about being cold – so here I am, all snuggled up under one of the World Trees, all warm and cozy, dreaming of Hawaii.

While I was in Gore, I was given the use of a couple of side rooms in an old church the local art council had saved from being torn down, and which they were going to turn into an art center. It was the perfect place to hold painting classes, which I did twice a week for several months. That was where I painted this.

WINTER DREAMS
oils on canvas, 36″ x 36″
Prints available

DAWN WAVE

Posted on by March 29, 2021

Sometimes, before the sun is up all the way, the wind skittles across the glassy-smooth surface of the ocean, and it looks like a pinky-blue streaked mirror.

The swells come rolling in, incessant, constant, hypnotic. Every so often, the current and the swells clash just right, and a surprised wave pops its head up to catch the rising light before crashing in on itself.

It falls in, and the constant rolling continues, never ceasing. Too cold to go dive in, I stand shoulders hunched slightly with the chill, my hands buried in my wooly jacket, never tired of the eternal rhythm and play.

This painting was done after the last class in the Painting Waves course I just took – can you tell I miss the beach?

DAWN WAVE
Original pastels on heavy paper
9″ x 12″
Original and prints available
Contact me if you’d like one or the other!

WING and WING

Posted on by March 29, 2021

I grew up on a small harbor right off Long Island Sound.

We used to go down to the little beach near our house and watch the 12-meter racing boats cruise into the harbor on their practice days.

So exciting – they were so huge! One of them could have eaten my tiny 13′ boat for a snack!

Nowadays they have these fancy-ass catamaran things that get going fast enough to fly out of the water on these long foils that look like sticks – so weird.

I don’t think they even look like boats anymore.

I miss the grace and sleek beauty of the older boats like this one.

I called this Wing and Wing because she’s sailing downwind with both her main and jib flying free on either side of the boat, picking up as much wind as she can, since it’s almost a flat day – it’s so thrilling to be on a boat that size, doing that –

Want a print? Contact me –

JOURNEY

Posted on by March 29, 2021


I think I have mentioned that, for 35 years, I carried in the back of my mind, continual, persistent, destructive thoughts of offing myself. Wondering, how can I do it – pills? A gun? A knife? Drive over a cliff? But somehow my eternal self, the One that is the True me, kept me going.

At one point, I realized that I had to have been amazingly resilient and powerful to not just survive all that time, but then, to conquer those thoughts (with EFT, in 2001).

And I had to ask myself, if I had the inner power to be able to find a solution and then actually use it to conquer those thoughts, then what else could I do? What OTHER kind of life could I create?

Continue reading →

TUMBLING

Posted on by March 29, 2021

I’m taking a 4-week class on how to paint waves. My first painting was a complete dud – as were #s 2, 3, and 4. And 5. Ugh. Today’s was, too. Well, it was a wee bit better, but did I feel like packing the paints in and running away to some secret place where paint didn’t exist? Ohhh yeah.

So after the class was over, I decided I give it a try in pastels. What a relief! It turned out way better! Whew!

I believe that art is a divine channel for love. I think surfing is, too. My #2 hubbie was a surfer. When I met him, I had not one clue what that meant – hours on the ocean, real, physical connection to the water and the critters in it, physical strength and prowess – it was so beautiful to watch him weave in and out of waves. It seemed like such a sweet connection to the divine.

We split long ago, but my sons are both surfers, and I think of them all as I did this – the first try was acrylics, and this one is a pastel.

TUMBLING
Original pastels on paper, 9″ x 12″
Available – contact me if you’d like it or a print.

THE OBSCURE PAST

Posted on by March 29, 2021

I like looking at old documents.

Did you know that at one time, writing materials – especially parchment – were so precious that people wrote in tiny, tight script in one direction, and then turned the page 90 degrees, and wrote right over it with more tiny, tight script?

I’ve tried to read documents like that – good grief – it’s almost impossible!

That is, until you train your brain to ignore the perpendicular lines, the page just looks like a mess.

So that’s what I was thinking of when I painted this. And then of course the colors grabbed me and ran all over the script – and how could I resist a sunrise of color and light almost erasing what’s been and showing what could be?

THE OBSCURE PAST
Prints available (up to 50″ sq)
Contact me if you want a print!

MONSTERIOUS

Posted on by March 29, 2021

Surprise! Black!

Yes, I know people think of me as doing art with outrageous bright gleaming color – and – I also love black and white!

I decided to just go wacky and blast out a really bold piece – I think this fulfills that idea.

I’m thinking of that whole monsters and critters series last year all in black and white – why not an abstract in black and white!

I’m calling it Monsterious to honor the monsters…

MONSTERIOUS
Prints only

BUILDING BLOCKS

Posted on by March 29, 2021

I think that, if you sliced open my skin and looked inside it with a Soul Microscope, I’d be a bright soft greeny aquamarine color.

Like that soft green near the yellowy-green at the bottom, to the left of center.

Color is what I live on. It makes my life rich, even during times when I feel down or broke or miserable.

All I have to do is make something with bright clear color and my mood goes right back up. And I want to see this image in a 36″ x 36″ panel on the wall – that would wake me up anytime!

BUILDING BLOCKS
Pastel – 20″ x 20″ 
Prints only

ALL IS LIGHT

Posted on by March 29, 2021

There have been times in my life when my entire system went on dizzy-mode. I’d have to stop whatever I was doing, or pull off the road, or stop a conversation I was in, in order to simply not fall down. After a few of them happened, I began to just close my eyes and enjoy it.

After a few times like this, I began to notice shifts in my reality. Things would be slightly out of place; or on a larger scale, I’d not be in my car anymore, or not talking to the person I’d been with; or things would show up unexpectedly.

At first it was scary – what the heck..??? But then I remembered that each time nothing bad had happened, just that things were different.

So I decided to just enjoy the floating sensation, and as I did, say to myself, “something amazing is about to happen…”

Later, I changed it to, “…something amazing is happening…” and I’d picture in my mind something I’d been desiring. As the dizziness continued, I’d say to myself, “I wonder how it will happen this time!”

Today I felt the dizzy mode again – and it lasted for almost a full 30 seconds – a longer time than usual.

I wonder what amazing thing is coming to me!

ALL IS LIGHT is part of a series I did that resulted from meditations about my family. This is my dad. He was a big man, and probably scary looking to many who didn’t know him, but he was one of the kindest people I’ve known. His integrity was monumental. In meditation, his life energy crackled so loudly that it woke me from my trance state. He loved boats and sailing, so of course the ocean had to be part of the drawing, right? I miss him.

ALL IS LIGHT
Pastels on paper – sold
Prints available – contact me

Dà Huā – BIG FLOWER

Posted on by January 28, 2021

I had this idea that I was going to do a pastel of a stunning cactus plant I saw. I had it all drawn out and ready to go, and started applying the pastels….

And discovered that I had bitten off WAY more than I could chew! 16 flowers, 7 cacti bottoms… and the details were so small that the pastels just made a huge awful smoodge.

Wah!!! So, I wiped off most of the chalk dust, ran the whole thing under the faucet and scraped off the rest of the chalk. Then I wiped it dry, put another rough undercoat of gesso for pastels, and drew this one out. Only one cactus, and one flower!

I had a Chinese boyfriend many years ago whose nickname for me in Mandarin, Dà Huā, meant ‘Big Flower’ – so – I thought I’d name this after me! So here is Dà Huā – (sounds like dye-FAH)!

BIG FLOWER
Available: Original – 12″ x 12″ –
pastels on thin wood board
Prints also available

CURLY

Posted on by January 28, 2021

For the last few days I have been a social cactus. I’ve been so irritable I felt like I could bite someone’s head off.

Not sure why – seems like a lot of the tension from the last few years has released – but – there it is.

So since I believe in transforming nasty energy into creative juice instead of giving in to bitching and moaning without any real good reason,

I chose a thorny cactus (actually, it’s an aloe) that has lovely flowers, and drew that.

I think I’m pleased with how it came out.

CURLY
Pastels on heavy paper, 12″ x 9″
Original and Prints available

MY THOUGHTS OF PEACE FLY FAR BEYOND ME

Posted on by January 28, 2021

Recently, I figured out a way to take thoughts of resistance and resentment and cook them up into new dishes of peace and calm.

It’s not that hard. You kind of have to be a bit detached in order to do it. It’s like feeling a belly ache, and then watching yourself feel the belly ache with curiosity or wonder.

Today I felt hurt by something someone said. I had to remember that he was feeling hurt about something, and it didn’t have anything to do with me, really, except that I was there to receive the blow-back.

I’m still training my mind. Having taken things so personally for so long, it can be hard. But I try remember to say something like, “Wow, you sure have a lot of energy on that issue. How can I help you feel better?”

Or maybe, “Yes, you’re right about (whatever it is), but that doesn’t help much, does it? What needs to be done in order for this to be resolved?”

So today I asked, “If you knew that I only had a week to live, would you say that to me?” It shocked him to the core. We had a good conversation after that, where he revealed he felt guilty about having done something but didn’t know how to resolve it.

So good, not to have to argue. I much prefer peace.

MY THOUGHTS of PEACE…
Original sold.
Prints available – contact me!

HE WAS ABOUT TO…

Posted on by January 12, 2021

I was cruising on Facebook, when I saw that my friend, Bruce, who lives in South Africa, had posted 3 or 4 posts saying stuff like, “…Bruce Maxwell Cross …This is my journey thru an incredible life as I lay down my Cross and look forward to Heaven…….”

And another post saying, “…Anxiety Depression and Suicide takes a hold of my life and I spin inside my head. …tomorrow is the same as looking into infinity….as I look back on my life and the Now…I question who I am. ..what I am …and my intentions …everything seems just so pointless …My Hands Feet and Voice severed …trapped here wasting each every day …I live in fear of every day that has not yet arrived …That’s not a life …that is Hell….”

I knew – I KNEW – exactly where he was at. And I knew that unless someone spoke up immediately, he’d let himself go. He’s a delicate Being. Totally creative – he’s an amazing found objects creator, as well as a world-class welder – but no outside support at all. This lockdown has been devastating for him.

I’d have been devastated to learn of his passing if I hadn’t tried to help.

So I wrote him specifically: “Bruce, what exactly are you saying?” I wanted him to focus on his thinking, rather than allowing himself to drift off with illusory dreams of what the other side is like.

He responded: “To answer your question …I am not sure what I am trying to say other than …I feel so lost …so sad …and that I need ….Help …”

That gave me my opening. I wrote: Continue reading →

IT’S NOT MY FAULT!

Posted on by January 9, 2021

This is dedicated to any frustrated artist…

I attended an intense marketing workshop today.

It made me cry.

It put me right smack dab up against the years of deep conditioning I have fought my entire life.

I absolutely loved everything about it. Here’s why:

I grew up in the 50s, where it was, “little girls are to be seen and not heard – and ideally, not even seen…”

And, “Here, dear, take this pencil and paper and go hush up, don’t bother us…”

And then in art school, where the unspoken message was, “If you try to sell your work you’re selling out – art for art’s sake, you know…”

And from my father, who literally told me, “You’re just a woman, you’ll never make it, especially as an artist. You’ll just get married and make babies and give up…”

Continue reading →

I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE ALWAYS

Posted on by December 16, 2020

When my kids were little, they were friends with a pair of brothers whose mother was insanely over-protective. She used to drive me nuts.

I can still hear her shrill shriek, “Don’t climb that wall, you’ll fall off! If you go up that tree, I’m not going to take you to the hospital when you fall! You can just lie there in pain!” And on and on, with every new ‘dangerous’ thing they tried.

We never let her know that when they were at our house, I told them, “you can scale the walls and walk on top and climb up the big loquat tree, and if you want, we’ll take you down to the beach and show you how to boogey-board and surf, too!”

Those kids practically flew up those weeny little branches fast as weasels, grabbed baskets full of loquats and skittled back down faster than if they’d been greased. And they never fell. Not once. Not any of them.

You know when they fell?

Continue reading →

WASABI

Posted on by December 16, 2020

It was 1966. I was 21. I was new to California culture, having been brought up back East. I had come west to stay with an aunt and uncle in San Francisco, after I divorced my first husband.

I eventually landed in Santa Cruz. Those were the hippy days – lots of pot and acid, UFO sightings (yes, we saw lots – and no, we weren’t high when we did see them), and the beginning of the rampant development of the crafts. That’s when I became a potter.

My BF at the time decided to introduce me to his favorite Japanese restaurant. Eating Japanese food back east wasn’t particularly common, so I had no clue what I was getting into. Along with several of his close buddies, I met him at the restaurant, where he had reserved one of those fancy, private, sit-on-the-floor-under-a-low-table rooms.

All was going fine – we had some lovely miso soup, some shredded pickled veggies, and a bit of tempura appetizer …

Continue reading →

RED SINGS the BLUES

Posted on by December 8, 2020

In an argument with my son a few days before I left Hawaii to live in California at the end of 2018, he asked me if I had ever had myself checked for mental illness.

I was so shaken by the question I had no cogent reply. Looking back on my life, however, I can see how a question like that would have seemed to make sense to him.

He’s seen me go through great bouts of depression, days of crying, weeks of confusion and short-term memory loss, and times where I’d walk around the house feeling purposeless and numb.

What neither of us knew was what caused those experiences was so simple that they could have been avoided completely, and were physical illness, not mental. Continue reading →

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY…

Posted on by December 2, 2020

How many times have we heard, “Laughter is the best medicine”? Lots! Right?

Well, a neighbor who is constantly bugging me about this little thing or other started in on me today. I had been standing on my little door stoop, enjoying the sun, and wasn’t about to let him wreck my day.

I thought about that saying, and instead of getting mad and wishing he’d just go away, I simply held up my hand and said, “Talk to the hand!”

He stopped, blinked, and stammered, “Huh?”

I said, “My hand is more interested in what you have to say to me than I am, so if you can find it, carry on!” And proceeded to place both hands in my pockets.

He blinked, and started laughing!

“You’re crazy, you know that?” he said, as he shrugged and walked away.

I thought to myself, “You’re just now getting that?” I didn’t say it, though. Why invite more conversation with a downer?

I was amazed he laughed. But no matter – it stopped the stream of downerisms he was about to try dousing me with. Hah! I love humor!

This is PRETTY NAILS
original pastels on paper, image size 9″ x 12″
framed and matted – 11 x 14 total size.

If you love to laugh like I do, and want to be reminded of laughter each time you look at this, contact me and it can be yours!

COMFORT? Or CANOODLING?

Posted on by December 2, 2020

Which would you name it? At first I thought, “Comfort.”

But then as I looked at it more, it seemed like “Canoodling” would be a better name.

What do you think?

I had originally intended it to be totally hot, sizzling, and erotic.

But as I drew it out and added color, it became sweeter than that, nuzzling, comforting, canoodly – not hot and sizzling at all. Just… nice.

Who wouldn’t want to spend an afternoon canoodling on the beach like that?

Maybe I should name it Beach Afternoon…

COMFORT
Original pastels on art board
16″ x 20″
Contact me if you’d like to have it –
I don’t expect it to last long before it goes out the door –

A TRIPLE WHAMMY

Posted on by November 25, 2020

I’m Safe in Your Hands – Starshine Alabaster, 24″ tall

I posted on Facebook a couple days ago that I hadn’t been feeling well. No worries – not The Big V Thing! I got triple-whammied by other completely stupid stuff!

First, I must have eaten something off, because I started feeling weak and nauseated.

I was about to go to bed and let it wear off when my neighbor, “Keil”, came over with his little dog, Demon. Yep, his real name, because – he is.

Demon loves fetch, so we were playing a little bit on the front steps. Because I wasn’t feeling my toppest-best, I lost focus for second. That’s when Demon grabbed my fingers in a vice-like-grip that I thought would tear them off.

Luckily, I know how to disengage little jaws like his with those sharp little teeth! I got him off me, and thankfully no blood, but sharp pain and deep bruising coming on fast.

Continue reading →

BAAAAAAAAH!

Posted on by November 25, 2020

Today I saw a shorty little video on FB by a gal who has a bunch of farm animals that bonded to her and follow her along like dogs – including turkeys, goats and sheep, and even a deer!

Halfway through the video, one of the sheep – thick with a year’s worth of wool still on it – started running and jumping like a playful puppy! OMG it was SO cute!

So here she is – how could I resist?

BAAAAAH!
Pastels on paper – 9″x12″
Available – PM me if you want it!
It comes matted in a temporary frame to protect it during shipping and during the time you take to get it to the real framer!

MY NEW BOOK!

Posted on by November 25, 2020

A few weeks ago, I was approached by a not-so-very-well-known company that prints books, art prints and other arty products.

They wanted me to submit a book of images for them to print. The deal was they’d give me $150 off the printing price in exchange for a review.

I’m thinking, “Huh? 150 bucks? Who spends that on printing a book?? Even amazon, where it costs me $15 to print one of my 90-page all-color art books, isn’t as bad as that!”

So I figured, just for fun, I’d put together a 100-page all-color book of photographs and images, and detail shots, of some of my best artwork over the last 20 years, and call it a 20-Year Retrospective. (Get it HERE)

Continue reading →

2-YEAR TRUCKABOUT

Posted on by November 3, 2020

In the mid-80s, I had been living in Kailua, on Oahu, in Hawaii. I had a nice house, drove a Volvo station wagon, had a simple carving studio, enough to eat…but I was unhappy.

And I couldn’t figure out why. So I sold everything I owned except for a few favorite things, sold my car, and hopped on a plane to San Francisco where I had friends I could stay with.

I bought a brand new Toyota Forerunner (one of the first ones, ever, without the back doors – boy did I come to hate not having those back doors!), some camping basics. I set about going on the road for as long as it took. I wanted to do an enforced ‘art fast’ to see if making art was ‘really mine.’ Continue reading →

THE EVOLUTION of A PASTEL PAINTING

Posted on by November 3, 2020

I’ve been asked how I do these pastel paintings.

I do them in three main stages.

First comes the idea, sketched roughly in black ink on a little scrap of paper.

Then, I prepare a bigger sheet of paper or art board with a special gesso primer that has marble dust in it, so it’s like about a 200 grit sand paper. I also add a medium rust color to it as undercoat.

I do a soft sketch on that surface. Then, when I’m sure of my lines, I make them darker using a very soft, very black pencil, and spray it with fixitive, so the lines don’t smudge if I touch them as I’m painting with the pastels.

Continue reading →

RASCALLY REINDEER & BUDDIES

Posted on by October 29, 2020

Art always makes me feel better. Like somehow, I’m Doing My Life Right.

Maybe it’s because I go into a trancey kind of out-there in-there smooth, calm, non-thinking zone state while I’m creating art.

Maybe it’s because when I see those bright colors something grabs me deep in my heart, and says ‘life can’t be ALL bad when brilliant colors like that are alive and well!’

And maybe it’s just because it’s a realm in which I feel utterly comfortable, and able to run around like a mad woman and just bloody well have fun.

Who knows? And really, who cares why? I don’t! I just wanna have fun.

I hope you like Rascal with his pointy antlers and his silly above and below-ground buddies!

RASCALLY REINDEER & BUDDIES
Original, pastels on paper, 12″x9″
Both original and prints are available
Contact me if you want to add it to your collection.

LEONARD LEOPARD

Posted on by October 29, 2020

I’ve been talking about procrastination lately. Mainly because I’ve been doing it, myself. I know, bad me.

I couldn’t figure out why until speaking with a friend today. I happened to just blurt out that after this relief money runs out, I’m worried that my life will fall flat, that I won’t be able to sell enough art.

What’s that about???

In truth – it’s that I still need to have belief in myself, and have trust that my work is good, that people will love and want it – and buy it. Enough that I can maintain my little lifestyle as it is without more sacrifices.

I guess 16 years of living in a tiny shack back in Hawaii kind of put a dent in my self-regard. I think I’m doing pretty well, actually, after all is said and done, but I need more faith, and maybe to expand my ability to let in the messages of love and support that already pour in.

Continue reading →

REAL SELF-CARE

Posted on by October 23, 2020

WHAT DO YOU PUT UP WITH?

Last weekend, I got a call from a man I hadn’t heard from in 20+ years. At first I was glad to hear from him. But then –

He didn’t ask if it was a good time to talk.
He didn’t ask how I was or anything about my life these days.
He did go on and on about the current political morass, the virus situation, how he’d been ‘dragged through’ a devastating divorce…

I’m not one to sit around and complain – not only is that boring, but I’m too busy to spend time on that.

Instead, I consider what I don’t like, and if it’s something I can change, I’ll take what steps I need in order to do that.

If it’s something I cannot change, I try to change my attitude towards it, so at least it doesn’t sit inside my mind scraping at my internal peace.

PATTERN INTERRUPT…

So in the middle of one of his complaints, I asked, “Sounds like a lot to take – what are you doing to alleviate your stress?”

Continue reading →

RIVER WOLF

Posted on by October 22, 2020

Sometimes I get caught by the Shoulds. As you probably know, besides being an avid sculptor and painter, I’ve also been a Peak Performance coach for many years.

When covid hit, I put everything on the back burner and hibernated for 2 months.

Then this little Voice in my mind popped up, saying, “You should do (all these things people would love and want).”

So of course I start trying to go about doing this and doing that, and scattered my attention all over the place.

It felt awful. And exhausted me almost immediately, so I just fell back into hibernation mode.

Lately I have been really keeping a close eye on what >I< want to do, what >I< want to put my attention on, what >I< love in my life.

It’s made a big difference – I feel respect for myself for who I am and what I do, and I do DO what I want and love to do, rather than worrying about what people will do or say about what I do.

Don’t get me wrong – the time when I really really worried about that is long gone! But there were a few clingy hangers-on that needed to be clipped.

So here’s Wolfy, down at the river, laughing with Funny Fish on the left, who is sticking his little red tongue out, trying to slobber on Wolfy’s toes.

And all the Night-Birdies caroling away under the Moon and waiting for the sun to rise. All of them just having bald-ass fun, the way Life is Supposed to Be.

RIVER WOLF
Original pastels on paper, 12″ x 9″
PM me if it says to you that it wants to come live in your house.

 

 

THREE SISTERS of JOY

Posted on by October 8, 2020

Fish have always meant happiness to me.

Maybe because I spent so much time sitting on the dock near my childhood house, feet swinging over the water, as I caught buckets of bluefish and flounder.

Maybe it’s because they are so varied and graceful, and so beautiful.

When I lived in Hawaii, seeing them flash in and out of the coral – flash! swim this way, flash! swim that way, all at once, just like birds in the sky, flying in murmurations – it seemed like magic.

So here are the Three Sisters of Joy, swimming in and out of the sea grass and coral, accompanied by starfish friends and others. In brilliant color, natch.

This is an original pastel on paper, 9″x12″
Prints available, too.