No. Not Ever. I could feel my body start to contract into itself, shrinking, freezing. My head fell, my chin pressing against my chest. I vaguely noticed my feet press down and anchor themselves to the floor. I wondered if it would be a punch or a slap this time. Even if I had thought […]
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Category: For Women!
No More Letting Baby Cry Herself Out!
I had to slowly slowly convince myself to open to receive any thoughts at all that I might be worthy, and even lovable. In a reel I watched tonight by a gal whose name I never caught, she explains how parents used to be advised to ‘let the baby cry itself out.’ That the baby […]
BE KIND. NO MATTER WHAT.
We learn to hide the pain. We feel unacceptable. We learn to present happy faces, calm demeanors, soft voices — where what we really feel like doing is screaming until our throats rip apart. Be kind. That’s what comes to mind when I see people getting down on folks who write about being depressed and […]
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!
I don’t know about you, but I’m sick to death of people telling me what I ‘should’ buy or ‘should’ do. Use the Law of Attraction! Do this technique! You should eat green! You should stop eating sugar! Use this technique to get more clients! You should…you should…you should! NO! I shouldn’t! And I won’t, […]
WHY WOMEN ARTISTS FAIL(ed)
I had deeply internalized all those negative, destructive messages and made them into my own beliefs that >I< was a failure, that >I< was the one to blame, and that >I< would ‘never make it’ – I attended an intense marketing workshop for women artists a while back. It made me cry. It put me […]
HOW SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU” SAVED HER LIFE
Sitting like a little kid, with her legs straight out in front of her, she was shock-white, with glazed- eyes seeing nothing. The webbing between her left hand first finger and thumb … My mother and I got into a huge argument during my senior-year spring break. We disagreed so vehemently that after three days, […]
SHY ARTIST DEAD TOO SOON
One day about a month before she left the planet, she turned to me with such a galvanizing look that I felt my feet suddenly get cemented to the floor. If I’d wanted to pay attention to anything else, I could not have. I’ve always said I’d be a psychologist if I hadn’t trained to […]
GET UPSET? OR TAKE the OPPORTUNITY to UPL...
Images flooded my panicked mind of internet police coming to Get Me and Punish Me, hoards of angry women descending upon my house and doing Bad Things to me, being banned from being online forever…. The first time a customer complained to me and told me she was really upset about trying to buy my […]
The PAINFUL WAY I LEARNED ABOUT MONEY, Pa...
I guarantee you that if you do not, they will hang around and expect you to do and pay for everything for them — just like you have their whole lives! Because my parents were so tight-lipped about money, I had no idea the sacrifices they made for all of us. No. Idea. My three […]
The PAINFUL WAY I LEARNED ABOUT MONEY, Pa...
One of the problems that exacerbated my naïveté was my dad’s panicky behavior around discussing money. As soon as the very word slipped past any of our lips, it was hammered into oblivion: “We don’t talk about money! It’s nobody’s business!” So, we just zipped our lips. And our minds. After I had walked the […]
THINK, FEEL, TAKE ACTION, ASSESS, REPEAT
Despite feeling so insulted and so enraged, and so helpless to do anything about what had happened, I also knew I had to, could, and absolutely would, change How Things Were. After I got home from my sailing-across-the-Pacific journey, I spent a good amount of time cogitating about what I wanted next in my life. […]
LEARNING to READ the ENERGY
There was one point where I felt funny, and I looked over to see his face flash this weird face-video of emotions. I couldn’t read it, it went so fast. But I felt alarmed…. Right after George W. Bush the very junior got elected, I left the USA. Bush’s idiocy during and after the event […]
VIOLATED. AGAIN.
I was astonished — I didn’t remember ‘screaming bloody murder’! I said so, and he laughed and said, “Yep, you sure was, and boy was it loud, yeah man!” Huh. The second time I was raped was a far cry from the first. Looking back, I count what happened to me that day as a […]
ELIGHTABETH, So Serioth
Granny made it very clear that she was disowning me because she thought I was a ‘sex maniac.’ Those were her exact words, conveyed with a contorted look of appropriate horror by my father. When I was a little kid, my dad’s mother would come stay with us. Granny. The one whose middle name, Treat, […]
HOW BURT BECAME MY VERY BEST FRIEND
Burt is the kind of friend everyone should have. He holds little babies as if they were the gods’ own precious lights; plays with the toddlers; treats little girls and boys to merry-go-rounds, lots of colorfully illustrated books, pencils, and art supplies; Tonka trucks, small-hand size tools and paints, encyclopedias, roller skates and skis; and […]
WHERE DO THESE IMAGES COME FROM, ANYWAY?
I was surprised by this series of black, blue and white drawings. I’d been working on a whole nother series, and suddenly, these popped into my brain and demanded release. I can’t help it. I just keep seeing all these new beings, and have to draw them, before the inner clamor drives me batty.
THE FIRST TIME I WAS VIOLATED
I went home that day all stirred up inside. I had no idea it was wrong of him to touch me. I had no idea it was what we’d call grooming, now. I just knew…. I was 13 years old the first time I was raped. Not to worry, this will not be a rant […]
MY BODY KNEW WHAT TO DO, EVEN WHEN I DIDN...
The neighborhood women were complaining that I was ‘out flaunting’ myself, and their men were spying on me all day! After the big hurricane of ’82, my kids and I decided to move to a bigger place down the road in Kekaha, a wisp of a town on Kauai, in Hawaii. Most of the folks […]
The POWER of A PINCH and A TWIST
On a sunny late afternoon in NYC, I was on my way home from art school. Exhausted. We’d had a full day at the easel, standing on concrete floors, the instructors particularly nasty all day. As if our not knowing what they were talking about was our fault, somehow, and they were taking it out […]
THE REAL POWER
Last night, I happened upon a new show on Amazon prime called The Power. In it, young girls are discovering they have a new, odd sensation in their bodies — little courses of electricity that travel down their arms and make zippy jumping lines of lightning, that jump finger tip to finger tip. Sparks ignite upon anger […]
SEND LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT
This was a hard lesson for me. I grew up in a family that loved to sit around after dinner and make fun of, criticize and totally shred politicians, celebrities and other people in the news. It became second nature to be arrogant. You can imagine how many friends I lost, one by one. I […]
CRUNCHY YOGA & AUDIO BOOKS!
Recently I’ve been creating a 1-2-3 systems webinar for teaching authors how to make their own audio books. Why audio books, you ask? Because although it’s easy to publish kindle books on amazon, you can get your audio books onto 47 other platforms! Imagine you have one book, and you put it for sale on […]
The OTHER OTTER
I birthed my younger son at home. Labor had started at 10 pm, but I went to bed anyway, exhausted from canning tomatoes all day. I awoke with a bang at 3 am, though, and somehow, as daddy went to get the midwife, I clambered clumsily and carefully down our loft ladder and crawled over […]
REBEL
What happens to kids who just don’t fit the square, round or even triangular holes in society? They end up like I did, seething inside, wishing for friends, afraid of the certain mockery when I opened my mouth, envying the easy friendships others had. Finding solace in art and reading; always alone, always wary of […]
DO THIS FOR YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS
People ask me how they can support their favorite artists if they can’t buy from them. Here are a few ideas you can try. • Do you know any gallery owners? If you think your fave artist’s work would fit the gallery, send the gallery owner or acquisitions manager a link to your artist’s website […]
HOW to FREE UP YOUR CREATIVE ENERGY
I was very honored to be invited to be the featured guest of the Lone Star Dowsers monthly meeting last week (July 28, 2021)! First we went into dowsing, then EFT/tapping – pretty deeply. I’ve been using dowsing for 40 years, 20+ of those years using a dowsing rod, getting pretty extraordinary results. I showed […]
IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
This is dedicated to any frustrated artist… I attended an intense marketing workshop today. It made me cry. It put me right smack dab up against the years of deep conditioning I have fought my entire life. I absolutely loved everything about it. Here’s why: I grew up in the 50s, where it was, “little […]
WASABI
It was 1966. I was 21. I was new to California culture, having been brought up back East. I had come west to stay with an aunt and uncle in San Francisco, after I divorced my first husband. I eventually landed in Santa Cruz. Those were the hippy days – lots of pot and acid, […]
COMFORT? Or CANOODLING?
Which would you name it? At first I thought, “Comfort.” But then as I looked at it more, it seemed like “Canoodling” would be a better name. What do you think? I had originally intended it to be totally hot, sizzling, and erotic. But as I drew it out and added color, it became sweeter […]
REAL SELF-CARE
WHAT DO YOU PUT UP WITH? Last weekend, I got a call from a man I hadn’t heard from in 20+ years. At first I was glad to hear from him. But then – He didn’t ask if it was a good time to talk. He didn’t ask how I was or anything about my […]