No More Letting Baby Cry Herself Out!

I had to slowly slowly convince myself to open to receive any thoughts at all that I might be worthy, and even lovable. In a reel I watched tonight by a gal whose name I never caught, she explains how … Continue reading

Once in A Lifetime

They were jumping in and out of the water so smoothly, so fast, that it looked like a fountain of silvery sea flesh. When my boys were young, we lived in Hawaii on the island of Kaua’i, in Kekaha, a … Continue reading

I Was Damned if I Was Going to Allow Hardship to Get Me

Nights when magical swaths of stars would span the entire ceiling above, making it seem as light as noon. Bright evening lightning shows burst through the dark evenings on the far horizon… Living in New Mexico in the early 1990s … Continue reading

Freezing to Death for 3000 Miles On the Back of a BMW Motorcycle

Semi trucks started edging us sideways, pushing into our lane, trying to run us off the road. Gas stations and roadside restaurants saw us coming, switched their ‘open’ signs to ‘closed’ in their windows and front doors. 1966. I was … Continue reading

“Something Amazing Is About to Happen,” He Said…

It can be painfully hard to let go of the what-ifs and the blame/shames, he-did-it-to-me’s and the she’s-such-a … — or the what-am-I-going-to-do . . . I’ve been a devoted student of metaphysics for decades. One of the most basic things I learned when I began … Continue reading

How Could You Possibly Forget that Trauma?

In sessions with my clients, I’ve heard them say, “I didn’t even remember that until today! It’s been years since it happened!” I’ve experienced that same forgetting, myself: I was raped several times between the ages of 13 and 19 … Continue reading

PATTY CAKE

Ahhh, yes! A bunch of innocent delightful critters playing in a lovely world where things are the way they’re supposed to be: open, loving, caring, fun, creative and compassionate…. PATTY CAKE, PATTY CAKE, BAKER’S MAN – Run away! Run Away! … Continue reading

HOW SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU” SAVED HER LIFE

Sitting like a little kid, with her legs straight out in front of her, she was shock-white, with glazed- eyes seeing nothing. The webbing between her left hand first finger and thumb … My mother and I got into a … Continue reading

GET UPSET? OR TAKE the OPPORTUNITY to UPLIFT?

Images flooded my panicked mind of internet police coming to Get Me and Punish Me, hoards of angry women descending upon my house and doing Bad Things to me, being banned from being online forever…. The first time a customer … Continue reading

The PAINFUL WAY I LEARNED ABOUT MONEY, Part II

I guarantee you that if you do not, they will hang around and expect you to do and pay for everything for them — just like you have their whole lives! Because my parents were so tight-lipped about money, I … Continue reading

THINK, FEEL, TAKE ACTION, ASSESS, REPEAT

Despite feeling so insulted and so enraged, and so helpless to do anything about what had happened, I also knew I had to, could, and absolutely would, change How Things Were. After I got home from my sailing-across-the-Pacific journey, I … Continue reading

LEARNING to READ the ENERGY

There was one point where I felt funny, and I looked over to see his face flash this weird face-video of emotions. I couldn’t read it, it went so fast. But I felt alarmed…. Right after George W. Bush the … Continue reading

PUBLISHED! INSIDE SECRETS: Stories I’ve Never Told Anyone: Volume VII – Stone Carver in Italy

I’m very pleased to say that my latest INSIDE SECRETS book, Volume VII, is now out and on amazon! All about my crazy trip to Italy to learn how to carve marble. You can get it in print here: https://amzn.to/41RZgk1  … Continue reading

BITTEN BY A SPIDER. OR NOT.

Instead of coming to the surface and breaking out, the itchy-burny-hurty toxins spread out into the rest of my instep and into my head…. A month ago, I was bitten by a spider. Or something. I don’t know, because I … Continue reading

SUCH A BAD DRIVER!

After I left Italy, I went back to Hawaii, living there for about a year. More on that later. I then moved near San Francisco for a few months, until my friend Melissa invited me to come to New Mexico, … Continue reading

STONE CARVER, Part 6

Our first day! On a hot day in June, 1989, our carving group, comprised of five students all from the US, stood poised before the hunks of stone we’d selected, waiting for us on our sturdy, well-worn, waist-high carving tables. … Continue reading

STONE CARVER, Part IV

Upon buying my tickets to go carve marble in Italy, I also bought a language system called Sybervision so I could study Italian. It was the easiest language system I’ve ever used. By the time I landed in Rome, I … Continue reading

STONE CARVER, Part II

The Quarry In 1989, I was thrilled to be invited to go carve marble in a weeks-long workshop in Lucca, Italy, under the instruction of a bona fide marble-carving maestro, Professore Roberto Bertola. I was excited because up until that … Continue reading

STONE CARVER, Part I

I’m a self-taught stone carver. I had been a studio potter for 15 years when, in late 1981, my car was struck right behind my driver seat by a guy running a red light through an intersection as I attempted … Continue reading

DO THIS FOR YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS

People ask me how they can support their favorite artists if they can’t buy from them. Here are a few ideas you can try. • Do you know any gallery owners? If you think your fave artist’s work would fit … Continue reading

SAM: Likes Shiny Things

The second time I was raped was a far cry from the first. Looking back, I count what happened to me that day as a stroke of incredible good fortune for myself, and out-of- the-blue evidence of amazing community solidarity … Continue reading

OLIVER: Sees You

September of 1999 was a hot one. I had just returned to Santa Fe a short month ago from a stint back east, house-sitting for my dear friend, Cynthia, out on Long Island. I hadn’t been able to find a … Continue reading

BELLA: Early

My dad used to burst into my bedroom, at dawn:30 a.m., throwing the door back with a bang, roughly yank all the covers completely off me and my bed, and cheerily spout, “Time to get uuuuuuuppp!!” He thought he was … Continue reading

BUDDY: in the Light, Shadowed

When I drew this, I was focusing on the white part so much that it wasn’t until later that I saw the funny blue face. I particularly like this one because it’s so silly (Silly really ought to be my … Continue reading

SYLVESTER: Hiss

Lately I’ve been really struggling with sleep imbalance. It’s so strange – I can sleep 2 or 3 hours, but then my legs get all jumpy and I have to get up. Then within an hour or three, my eyes … Continue reading

SELBY’S Favorite Game (Not Really)

Recently I watched one of those ‘cute’ animal videos where a seal was bouncing a ball around and playing catch with its trainer in one of those sea life shows. I wanted to relf. Seals belong OUTside. They are cute, … Continue reading

ELIGHTABETH, So Serioth

When I was a little kid, my dad’s mother would come stay with us. Granny. The one whose middle name, Treat, I carry. I couldn’t stand her. She smelled like Eau d’Oldde Peoplle. And she made this weird little sucking-in … Continue reading

SCREEN PARALYSIS: JESSE: Caught

I’ve been writing up a storm lately, and last night as I got up to take a little break, I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I left – I looked kinda like this! I realized I’d be … Continue reading