The rest of our visit with my folks was blah-normal. At last it was time to go back to California. After about a nano-second of deliberation, T and I decided that finding a hire-car to deliver to the west coast for someone was a much preferable idea over hitching back. We had had enough of […]
You are browsing archives for
Category: Peace Love & Happiness
A HARD-WON PEACE
Our drive from Des Moines to Long Island was flawless. I was almost shocked at how easy and fun it was, after our two almost-fatal encounters with truckers. Our ride, Harley, was a delightful man who, instead of leaving us off in Des Moines as we had planned, invited us to stick with him all […]
BILLY’S 18-WHEELER
We left the thrift store wearing every single thing we’d bought. They may have been new-old clothes, but it was beyond description how heavenly it was to be warm again. Now we were seriously hungry. Good fortune was ours — there was a diner close by, so we trudged over, lugging our heavy back packs […]
DONNER PASS
T and I came back to California in the middle of January. Being used to the weather in Hawaii, I forgot all about how wet and cold San Francisco was, and was wearing short-shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops. By the time I got off the plane and over to the baggage claim area, I felt as […]
SNOW BIRTH
“Nurse! Hand me the scalpel, please, it’s 9:00 and my dinner is waiting!” Nurse hands scalpel to doctor, and my first live birth, my first son, Aaron, comes screaming out into the ice-cold delivery room air. “Nothing wrong with the lungs on that one!” the doc declares, as he rises from his chair, gloved hands […]
MA’S GARDEN
I didn’t want to write this. I’ve been back and forth, afraid to post it. But I have this feeling I Have To. Know what I mean? Not for me, but for Someone Out There. I hope it somehow brings you peace, whoever you are. So to preface the story: It’s been a hair less […]
IT’LL BE FUN, HE SAID…
Seven hours, crammed in with T’s squiggling, wiggling 2 and 4 year old boys in a narrow, silver tube, flying across the 3000 miles stretch of treacherous open ocean with nowhere to go to escape. I thought I’d go mad. Finally, Honolulu Airport. I was so ready to dash out the door and board the […]
LET’S GO TO MAUI, HE SAID…
Hurrying, stumbling, trying to get our packs and jackets out of the car as fast as we could, we knew our Ride would drive off without even waiting for us to close his precious bright turquoise 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air’s thick, heavy doors. And he did, the doors swinging shut with a clomph as his […]
MAKING LOVE UNDER THE SLINKY STARS
I met my second hubby in Big Sur. I had been working at Dancer, Fitzgerald and Sample in San Francisco as a junior art director. My very conservative boss, Sam, had a firm hold on the department. Despite the restraints, my co-workers and I spent our days rocking out to the Beatles, the Stones, Van […]
SEND LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT
This was a hard lesson for me. I grew up in a family that loved to sit around after dinner and make fun of, criticize and totally shred politicians, celebrities and other people in the news. It became second nature to be arrogant. You can imagine how many friends I lost, one by one. I […]
EYE LIGHTS
I have this weird thing that happens if I’m looking straight ahead, and there is a shiny thing on either side of me – the shiny thing makes light rays that go out and catch me – kind of like strings that pull my attention. Hard to put into a drawing – this is as […]
The OTHER OTTER
I birthed my younger son at home. Labor had started at 10 pm, but I went to bed anyway, exhausted from canning tomatoes all day. I awoke with a bang at 3 am, though, and somehow, as daddy went to get the midwife, I clambered clumsily and carefully down our loft ladder and crawled over […]
FREEDOM BIRDIES
You know how when you watch a movie and you end up rooting for the little guy? Well, I do, anyway – such a common theme – well this is the little guy who’s fed up with the shenanigans being pulled by the supposed ‘good’ guys (in this case, the all-powerful, ever-present moon, supposedly benignly […]
REBEL
What happens to kids who just don’t fit the square, round or even triangular holes in society? They end up like I did, seething inside, wishing for friends, afraid of the certain mockery when I opened my mouth, envying the easy friendships others had. Finding solace in art and reading; always alone, always wary of […]
How to GET YOUR ENERGY BACK
During this last two years, I’ve watched closely as I and many others have lost income, gained way too much weight, lost our health, got horrifically off track in biz, and felt generally unfocused, exhausted, uninspired and discouraged. I decided I’d had enough! (Impatient? Get the zoom webinar HERE) I was tired of feeling tired, […]
How to Turn ANXIETY into CREATIVITY
ANXIETY into CREATIVITY? Now you really can transform your anxiety, stress, exhaustion,and inability to focus into beautiful, useful, creative energy! This is for you if you’ve been afraid, anxious or panicked about life after covid, your relationships, business, family, making a living, trying to live a fulfilled life, or if you’re having a hard time […]
SAM: Likes Shiny Things
The second time I was raped was a far cry from the first. Looking back, I count what happened to me that day as a stroke of incredible good fortune for myself, and out-of- the-blue evidence of amazing community solidarity in its intolerance for violence and cruelty, and its endeavor to maintain peace. I was […]
SELBY’S Favorite Game (Not Really)
Recently I watched one of those ‘cute’ animal videos where a seal was bouncing a ball around and playing catch with its trainer in one of those sea life shows. I wanted to relf. Seals belong OUTside. They are cute, sure, until you come up close and dirty – if one decided to attack you […]
Dà Huā – BIG FLOWER
I had this idea that I was going to do a pastel of a stunning cactus plant I saw. I had it all drawn out and ready to go, and started applying the pastels…. And discovered that I had bitten off WAY more than I could chew! 16 flowers, 7 cacti bottoms… and the details […]
CURLY
For the last few days I have been a social cactus. I’ve been so irritable I felt like I could bite someone’s head off. Not sure why – seems like a lot of the tension from the last few years has released – but – there it is. So since I believe in transforming nasty […]
MY THOUGHTS OF PEACE FLY FAR BEYOND ME
Recently, I figured out a way to take thoughts of resistance and resentment and cook them up into new dishes of peace and calm. It’s not that hard. You kind of have to be a bit detached in order to do it. It’s like feeling a belly ache, and then watching yourself feel the belly […]
HE WAS ABOUT TO…
I was cruising on Facebook, when I saw that my friend, Bruce, who lives in South Africa, had posted 3 or 4 posts saying stuff like, “…Bruce Maxwell Cross …This is my journey thru an incredible life as I lay down my Cross and look forward to Heaven…….” And another post saying, “…Anxiety Depression and […]
IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
This is dedicated to any frustrated artist… I attended an intense marketing workshop today. It made me cry. It put me right smack dab up against the years of deep conditioning I have fought my entire life. I absolutely loved everything about it. Here’s why: I grew up in the 50s, where it was, “little […]
I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE ALWAYS
When my kids were little, they were friends with a pair of brothers whose mother was insanely over-protective. She used to drive me nuts. I can still hear her shrill shriek, “Don’t climb that wall, you’ll fall off! If you go up that tree, I’m not going to take you to the hospital when you […]
WASABI
It was 1966. I was 21. I was new to California culture, having been brought up back East. I had come west to stay with an aunt and uncle in San Francisco, after I divorced my first husband. I eventually landed in Santa Cruz. Those were the hippy days – lots of pot and acid, […]
RED SINGS the BLUES
In an argument with my son a few days before I left Hawaii to live in California at the end of 2018, he asked me if I had ever had myself checked for mental illness. I was so shaken by the question I had no cogent reply. Looking back on my life, however, I can […]
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY…
How many times have we heard, “Laughter is the best medicine”? Lots! Right? Well, a neighbor who is constantly bugging me about this little thing or other started in on me today. I had been standing on my little door stoop, enjoying the sun, and wasn’t about to let him wreck my day. I thought […]
2-YEAR TRUCKABOUT
In the mid-80s, I had been living in Kailua, on Oahu, in Hawaii. I had a nice house, drove a Volvo station wagon, had a simple carving studio, enough to eat…but I was unhappy. And I couldn’t figure out why. So I sold everything I owned except for a few favorite things, sold my car, […]
THE EVOLUTION of A PASTEL PAINTING
I’ve been asked how I do these pastel paintings. I do them in three main stages. First comes the idea, sketched roughly in black ink on a little scrap of paper. Then, I prepare a bigger sheet of paper or art board with a special gesso primer that has marble dust in it, so it’s […]
RASCALLY REINDEER & BUDDIES
Art always makes me feel better. Like somehow, I’m Doing My Life Right. Maybe it’s because I go into a trancey kind of out-there in-there smooth, calm, non-thinking zone state while I’m creating art. Maybe it’s because when I see those bright colors something grabs me deep in my heart, and says ‘life can’t be […]