Yesterday, I was given an astrology reading by a well-meaning, very dear-to-me, much-loving old friend.
I’m think astrology is a good thing – even studied it for a bit – but I don’t normally go out of my way to get readings.
But since it was a gift, and offered with such good intention, I thought, how nice! Thank you! And I showed up on the phone.
Then the astrologer proceeded to tell me that my chart showed that my houses of recognition and family were “in ruins,” and that even though Leo in the 5th house (and more) showed I was “a creative genius,” because of other aspects, my artwork would “never support” me.
And he said that he considered it a “cruel cosmic joke to be such a creative genius,” and yet be so restricted by the other aspects of my chart.
He said I had to do some “major internal shifting” and that I should “focus on writing, teaching and communication,” which would, indeed, support me.
Wow. Did I go away stunned? Yep.
And later, sad. And mad. And MAD.
You can assume correctly that yes, I tapped. A LOT.
Not necessarily on a supposedly impossible art career,
and the rest of what he said that wouldn’t possibly work for me … but also on his inability to communicate harsh news in a constructive manner.
I’m no wimp! I can take it that things might not be hunky-dory, easy-peasey for selling my artwork, and that I’m entering a time of intense internal work – hello? What’s new? What else have I been doing for the past 30 years?
But to be told that my being a ‘creative genius was like a cruel cosmic joke because it would never support’ me? Does that help me any? Does that make me feel empowered and excited about my life? I don’t think I have to even answer that.
So if you are a consultant of some kind, in any field, and you have to announce what could be construed as ‘bad’ news, I implore you – do it with kindness, without dramatic phrasing.
Don’t call it a bad cosmic joke – even joking.
It’s not a joke.
Don’t tell your client there’s no hope.
How do you even know what he or she is hoping for?
I don’t care if you think they might be dying the next day – there’s always something you can say to bolster spirits – help reconnect to the Something-Bigger-than-Me realms, the Mystery, the Good, the Light – and prepare them for what’s next.
Because I believe that THAT is what you’re here for. To help people see that no matter what their lives have been like up until now, they are beautiful, indomitable spirits – beings who shine with divine light, even within what might be seen as devastating, horrific, mean, nasty or impossible life contexts.
I BELIEVED IT
Yes, I admit, part of me did already believe that I’d never be able to support myself on my artwork. Thank goodness I had tapping after hanging up – I tapped myself silly.
But nevertheless, to be told point blank that I’d NEVER be able to sent me through a series of reactions.
First, I felt internally collapsed. Here was the supposed end to something that was not just a career, but a soul-calling. If it wasn’t going to support me, what was it there for? Fun? A HOBby? To make me feel good at the end of the day?
Is that what literally dreaming in images/feelings/seeings, and all the training I’ve had, and being able to use multiple media to convey those feelings, ideas and images, and the intuition I’d developed and use for all my work – is that what all that was ultimately for? A HOBBY? Please.
Then, despair – let’s say it was true – what would I do now – give it up? Put it on the back burner?
Then, rage. I felt my ruff stand up and feelings of fury rush through me – thoughts of rebellion – “I’ll show you! Just watch me!” Which, in truth, is all good and fine, to be able to think of bucking the tide. But in my experience, in the end it’s an exhausting no-win loop, because it’s all about bucking, and there’s eventually no winning – just bucking and more of the problem.
WHAT COULD HE HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
It would have been way more helpful if he had helped me have a dispassionate, non-judgemental look at how things appeared, so I could see what was what without all the dramatic phrasing. Plain jane. And maybe I could have seen something in the design of it that he had not. But his own emotional reaction to it all skewed mine – and I heard it, felt it and bought it.
And he could have helped me find gateways to other opportunities, ideas and options, rather than to keep focusing on this cruel joke thing.
Think about it. What IS your job as a consultant? Is it to deliver crushing news and watch as someone collapses in despair and without hope in front of you? Now THAT would be the cruel joke. Har-har NOT.
Or is it to help people accept and be real with where they are in life and then to help them find avenues, doors, gateways, lines of opportunities and expanded perceptions? I think yes to that.
So please – help your clients refocus and stay focused on the real person inside the cosmic design (NOT the joke!) of their lives.
Help them away from the appearance of pain, and into finding ways to feel good about and express themselves, their gifts and talents within the context of their lives and experiences.
THAT is what I wanted, and no matter what I asked this man, he always got back to the cruel joke thing.
WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE?
I still had the power – my right hand was still fully capable of moving my phone from ear to phone cradle. I could have finally cut it off and hung up!
He kept saying “I’m sorry to have to say this to you,” and was in truth a ‘nice’ man. But my, my, I can do without ‘nice’ of that kind. To me, it felt like attack and being humiliated and made fun of.
But no – I hung on, waiting for hope.
None came. And I admit it, I was so stunned that I didn’t say anything or hang up. I kept wanting and waiting for some sliver of hopefulness to appear.
When it was over and we did hang up, I wished that I had heard about other, more supportive parts of the chart – if there were any, what they were, how they would/could work for me. Each time I asked, he’d eventually get back to the cosmic joke thing.
IT’S UP TO ME
Thank goodness I could tap on how I FELT about his pronouncements. And I did, you betcha! Because under it all, I KNOW who I am, and what my strength and capabilities are!
Because in the long run, it’s up to me what I make of it all. I refuse to believe that the way a bunch of stars are configured in the sky rules my life. Yes, they can give me a road map. Yes, I can see patterns that fit. But rule me? Uh-UNH! Not this girl. The stars show the road, but I walk it.
So there it is. I’m a supposed creative genius whose life-long love will supposedly ‘never’ support me.
Well. Here’s what I say to that: “Bunk.”
Because I’m bigger than that. I’m stronger than that. And I believe in me.
YOU, too. That’s what I want for you, too. So if you get a message of no-hope from someone, I implore you to back away and tap on it until you get to the place of truth within yourself – see your own inner beauty, strength, power and purpose.
And if you’re a consultant, please – be keenly aware of each word you utter – will your words induce collapse or creativity? Will they shatter your listener so she has to pick up the pieces and tap and stumble on from there? Or will they support her ability to function as a whole being?
Food for thought. Make it a feast. Please.