For the first two covid months of lockdown, I felt like I was drowning – in too much grogginess, too much where’s the money, too much confusion, anger and fear.

I decided things had to change in a big way.

A dear friend was kind enough to give me some real feedback: that I was sending out a mixed message: fear and anxiety on the one hand, and teaching how to market without fear!

Unh-huh – nothing like walking two paths at once! Like that ever works!

So I have spent a lot of solid time in deep thought and meditation, asking myself questions like – what do I want for my life? What does make me feel good? What things do I love so much I’d never give them up? How do I want my work to be seen? And many other questions, the answers for which help me define my life and work.

I threw out as much “I should” activities as I could think of. I made lists of things, activities and people I love the most. I dreamed a reality I want to live in, and am taking steps to manifest and build it.

The day after my most powerful meditation, a very decent amount of money came to me, so I have been able to replenish my paint and pastel supplies. It’s amazing to not have to skimp and watch every drop of paint I use, or collect the pastel dust for making background color.

Life feels much more solid now. I know I’m not completely out of the soup yet, but it feels great to finally come up for air again, after having felt like nothing would ever work for me again, whether during or after the lockdown.

How are you doing?

Do you feel anxious and confused, maybe a little (or a lot) angry?

If I might offer and suggestion: what I did/am doing my best to do is focusing on my Dream a little more every day, and allowing myself to let go of the fear and other destructive thoughts that bring me down.

The more I do that, the less down I feel, and the more able I am to feel productive and content.

The Dream comes first, though – spending time thinking up what you love most … and then dropping other stuff away that doesn’t feel good or makes you unhappy, then building up what you do want – that’s the ticket.

Original pastel on heavy paper – 9″ x 12″ available

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