Love Yourself First

You’re writing a book! That’s great! You’re going to help people, entertain them, introduce them to something new and/or innovative, or even change the world with your ideas.

Let’s say you’re a therapist or health or emotions specialist, and you want to help a person get past unwanted memories of trauma.

You’ve gone to school, gotten degrees, certificates, masters certs. You’ve done years and years of internship, clinical and practical trainings, and more years experience in your own practice.

You know the ins and outs of this person’s problems, why she is struggling, the logical reasoning and the emotional structures under and behind it all.

What’s your biggest problem, right off?

Your biggest problem as you write your book: she isn’t there in front of you.

That part of your mind that sees what she comes in with, hears her speak, feels as she feels, that part of you that has the knowledge and skills to help her get free? They feel disconnected as you attempt to write.

Because your biggest skill as a practitioner, therapist, or consultant doesn’t come from books or classes or diplomas. It’s more than a combination of your schooling and training, your innate inner knowing, plus immediate circumstance.

It’s your ability to listen.

You know how to listen without agenda. You know how to listen for clues. You listen, and get the core of the problem clear. Right? You also know how to be clear on what to do and say now, that will help this person.

But as you write, she isn’t there.

There is no one swirling the emotional energies in front of you. No one bringing up stories of old patterns of actions, responses, words and phases that were done to her or yelled at her. The ones that made her make the decisions she made as a kid, or after an accident, or after abuse or a shock.

So what to do? Being able to have that person there with you opens your inner flood gates to wisdom and ability to help. If she isn’t there, how do you get into the right space in order to access them?

You pretend.

Stick with me here, because this is important, and I want you to stop and breathe and get this in your cells.

The very word, ‘pretend,’ from Latin praetendere, means to stretch forth, or feign. From prae, in front + tendere, to stretch.

Together, it means ‘in front, or before-stretch.’

So if you stretch your mind into an idea you have not physically manifested yet, it’s called pretending.

The practice of affirmations is built on this idea. Visualizing your future is built on it. Intending health and well-being in the Eastern practices is built on it. Reiki. EFT and the other energy practices – they all employ stretching the mind to a reality that isn’t now, but could be, real.

So when you write your article, story or post, you stretch your mind in order to include the person you are writing for.

Close your eyes and see them sitting there in front of you, or walking beside you.

If you are one of those people who doesn’t ‘see’ internally, just think of them – that usually gets the same result as ‘seeing’.

Tune in to past encounters with this person, and remember how their voice sounded, how they used unique-to-them phrases or sounds. Include gestures typical to them.

Check your body sensations for feelings you might have experienced in their presence. I get chills when I her someone who is authentic speak their truths. I get a belly ache when someone is in pain or telling a lie. Check to discover any tells like that when you think of this person.

Add all the impressions up and use them like an anchor for your mind, and tell your story to that person.

You will be surprised at how much easier it will be to write your intended article when you have that person, who is now in the forefront of your mind.


Image: Love Yourself First

© Angela Treat Lyon 2023
text © Angela Treat Lyon 2023
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