On a larger scale, there were a couple times I’d simply not be driving anymore. The first time that happened, I about lost it. How did I get home, sitting at my kitchen table…
There are times in my life when my entire mental/emotional/physical system goes on dizzy-mode. It started in the early 90s when I was living in New Mexico.
When the dizziness hits, I have to stop whatever I‘m doing, or pull off the road, or halt a conversation I‘m in, in order to simply not collapse and fall down wet-noodle-kneed right on the spot.
The world in front of me sways and swirls. Sounds get muffled or distorted. My skin tingles. At first, the worst part of it was an inner twisting sensation. Not awful, but frightening.
The first few times scared me out of my wits. I thought there must be something really wrong with me. Was my eyesight failing? Did I have some kind of brain injury? Was my mind (finally) unraveling?
The episodes never last more than half a minute — it‘s not like I go through some eight-hour hallucinogenic event.
A few years ago, I decided to try out closing my eyes and just feel being dizzy, and do my best to enjoy the sensations.
I thought maybe I should look if there was anything different in my world after these episodes. I began to notice small shifts — things would be slightly out of place, or someone would be different from how I was accustomed to them being.
On a larger scale, there were a couple times I’d simply not be driving anymore. The first time that happened, I about lost it. How did I get home, sitting at my kitchen table, all the way from downtown? Without even remembering parking my car in my considerably difficult parking space?
Or suddenly the person who had just been right in front of me two seconds ago was no longer there, conversing with me.
Or things I’d thought I’d lost or misplaced would show up in my space out of the blue.
At first those larger shifts were really scary — what the heck . . . Was I having some sort of seizures? Some kind of psychotic breaks?
Who was controlling my reality???
But upon giving the whole phenomenon some deeper thought, I realized that nothing bad had ever happened in any of these events. Things just became … different.
So I decided to enjoy the floating/dizziness sensation. I couldn’t control it! It wasn’t like it happened all that frequently — so why not relax and do my best to observe and to enjoy it?
As I did, I started to say to myself, “something amazing is about to happen…”
Later, I changed it to, “…something amazing is happening…” I started trying to picture in my mind something I’d been desiring — why not?
As the swirling world sways in front of me, the sounds get muted and stretched, and the internal twisting/dizziness continues, I say to myself, “I wonder what amazing thing will happen this time!”
Today I felt the dizzy mode again — time to sit down and relax my body, allow the dizziness, and open my mind.
It lasted for almost a full 60 seconds — way longer than usual.
I wonder what amazing thing is coming to me.
Keep on keeping on. Notice what shifted.
Go with the flow.
Thanks so much for reading my story. I hope it lit you up. Or maybe it inspired you, or made you curious, or gave you a new perspective with which to view and appreciate your own life. Or maybe take on a new exciting scary fun adventure! That’s my wish.
DIZZY ON MY FEET
© Angela Treat Lyon 2010
text © Angela Treat Lyon 2023
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This is an enhanced version of a story in my series, INSIDE SECRETS, Stories I’ve Never Told Anyone, Volume III . You can get this book and most of my other books as free or choose what you pay ebooks at atlyon.gumroad.com; or in print on amazon.
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