One of the problems that exacerbated my naïveté was my dad’s panicky behavior around discussing money. As soon as the very word slipped past any of our lips, it was hammered into oblivion: “We don’t talk about money! It’s nobody’s business!” So, we just zipped our lips. And our minds. After I had walked the […]
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Tag: energy
THINK, FEEL, TAKE ACTION, ASSESS, REPEAT
Despite feeling so insulted and so enraged, and so helpless to do anything about what had happened, I also knew I had to, could, and absolutely would, change How Things Were. After I got home from my sailing-across-the-Pacific journey, I spent a good amount of time cogitating about what I wanted next in my life. […]
TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK
I’m not one to fill the space with a lot of talk or jabber — I’m really happy just sitting with someone in a companionable silence — there is something sublime and sweet about just BEing with someone you love. I have a dear friend here who is the most amazing talker.
LEARNING to READ the ENERGY
There was one point where I felt funny, and I looked over to see his face flash this weird face-video of emotions. I couldn’t read it, it went so fast. But I felt alarmed…. Right after George W. Bush the very junior got elected, I left the USA. Bush’s idiocy during and after the event […]
VIOLATED. AGAIN.
I was astonished — I didn’t remember ‘screaming bloody murder’! I said so, and he laughed and said, “Yep, you sure was, and boy was it loud, yeah man!” Huh. The second time I was raped was a far cry from the first. Looking back, I count what happened to me that day as a […]
BEING TRUSTED BY SMALL CRITTERS
When I drew this, I was focusing on the white part so much that it wasn’t until later that I saw the funny blue face. I particularly like this one because it’s so silly (Silly really ought to be my middle name), and so obvious … but not. I bet if I hadn’t said anything, […]
WHERE DO THESE IMAGES COME FROM, ANYWAY?
I was surprised by this series of black, blue and white drawings. I’d been working on a whole nother series, and suddenly, these popped into my brain and demanded release. I can’t help it. I just keep seeing all these new beings, and have to draw them, before the inner clamor drives me batty.
BITTEN BY A SPIDER. OR NOT.
Instead of coming to the surface and breaking out, the itchy-burny-hurty toxins spread out into the rest of my instep and into my head…. A month ago, I was bitten by a spider. Or something. I don’t know, because I never even saw the thing – I was sleeping. It got me seven times – […]
MY BODY KNEW WHAT TO DO, EVEN WHEN I DIDN...
The neighborhood women were complaining that I was ‘out flaunting’ myself, and their men were spying on me all day! After the big hurricane of ’82, my kids and I decided to move to a bigger place down the road in Kekaha, a wisp of a town on Kauai, in Hawaii. Most of the folks […]
STONE CARVER, Part V
Just by looking at people’s feet, I could always pretty much dependably tell who was American and who was European (or other nationality) before I even met them. Whereas we bumpkin Yanks almost always wore some brand of tennis shoes, flip-flops, or sneakers, Europeans mostly wore fine leather shoes or leather sandals (with socks!). But […]
STONE CARVER, Part III
I loved hanging out with the master carvers. They were there from before-god-gets-up early until 5pm, when they promptly took off their newspaper hats and scuttled home. They were incredibly skilled, and so fast! They spent most of their time carving replicas of famous works, like the David, and on enormous commissioned pieces and public […]
STONE CARVER, Part I
I’m a self-taught stone carver. I had been a studio potter for 15 years when, in late 1981, my car was struck right behind my driver seat by a guy running a red light through an intersection as I attempted to cross. My car did a 180 into a parked car, which slammed into my […]
SNOW BIRTH
“Nurse! Hand me the scalpel, please, it’s 9:00 and my dinner is waiting!” Nurse hands scalpel to doctor, and my first live birth, my first son, Aaron, comes screaming out into the ice-cold delivery room air. “Nothing wrong with the lungs on that one!” the doc declares, as he rises from his chair, gloved hands […]
MA’S GARDEN
I didn’t want to write this. I’ve been back and forth, afraid to post it. But I have this feeling I Have To. Know what I mean? Not for me, but for Someone Out There. I hope it somehow brings you peace, whoever you are. So to preface the story: It’s been a hair less […]
IT’LL BE FUN, HE SAID…
Seven hours, crammed in with T’s squiggling, wiggling 2 and 4 year old boys in a narrow, silver tube, flying across the 3000 miles stretch of treacherous open ocean with nowhere to go to escape. I thought I’d go mad. Finally, Honolulu Airport. I was so ready to dash out the door and board the […]
ALIENS OVER MY NEIGHBORHOOD
1966. I was living in a flop house with ten other hippies in Santa Cruz, California, with my brand new boyfriend, T, who would eventually father my children. I woke up when the morning paper slammed to the porch. I went outside, picked it up, and read: ALIENS TO GET GREEN CARDS The article went […]
CAVE CANEM
When my parents built their beautiful self-designed house, they embedded a 4-tile Italian design of a growling dog, in lovely ceramic colors, into the wall next to the stairway. It wasn’t just a regular stairway – oh no, can’t have that! It was a curved stair, open, with huge, thick wood steps made out of […]
REBEL
What happens to kids who just don’t fit the square, round or even triangular holes in society? They end up like I did, seething inside, wishing for friends, afraid of the certain mockery when I opened my mouth, envying the easy friendships others had. Finding solace in art and reading; always alone, always wary of […]
How to GET YOUR ENERGY BACK
During this last two years, I’ve watched closely as I and many others have lost income, gained way too much weight, lost our health, got horrifically off track in biz, and felt generally unfocused, exhausted, uninspired and discouraged. I decided I’d had enough! (Impatient? Get the zoom webinar HERE) I was tired of feeling tired, […]
BUDDY: in the Light, Shadowed
When I drew this, I was focusing on the white part so much that it wasn’t until later that I saw the funny blue face. I particularly like this one because it’s so silly (Silly really ought to be my middle name), and so obvious … but not. It’s a great metaphor for my life […]
SYLVESTER: Hiss
Lately I’ve been really struggling with sleep imbalance. It’s so strange – I can sleep 2 or 3 hours, but then my legs get all jumpy and I have to get up. Then within an hour or three, my eyes slump shut and I’m sleepy all over again and have to get horizontal before I […]
SELBY’S Favorite Game (Not Really)
Recently I watched one of those ‘cute’ animal videos where a seal was bouncing a ball around and playing catch with its trainer in one of those sea life shows. I wanted to relf. Seals belong OUTside. They are cute, sure, until you come up close and dirty – if one decided to attack you […]
ELIGHTABETH, So Serioth
When I was a little kid, my dad’s mother would come stay with us. Granny. The one whose middle name, Treat, I carry. I couldn’t stand her. She smelled like Eau d’Oldde Peoplle. And she made this weird little sucking-in whistle sound whenever there was something she disapproved of, but wouldn’t speak about. This image […]
SCREEN PARALYSIS: JESSE: Caught
I’ve been writing up a storm lately, and last night as I got up to take a little break, I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I left – I looked kinda like this! I realized I’d be practically glued to the screen for days! So today I’m focusing on remembering fun, funny, […]
HOW to FREE UP YOUR CREATIVE ENERGY
I was very honored to be invited to be the featured guest of the Lone Star Dowsers monthly meeting last week (July 28, 2021)! First we went into dowsing, then EFT/tapping – pretty deeply. I’ve been using dowsing for 40 years, 20+ of those years using a dowsing rod, getting pretty extraordinary results. I showed […]
BEARY BEAR’S DAD, BURT: Mellow
Burt is the kind of dad everyone should have. Holds little babies as if they were the gods’ own treasures; plays with the toddlers; treats little girls to merry-go-rounds and lots of colorfully illustrated books and art supplies; little boys to Tonka trucks, small-hand size tools and paints, encyclopedias, roller skates and skis; and young […]
GUS: I AIN’T DONE NUTHIN’
Some days I feel just like this. Like there’s not a single thing I can get right, and if I do do something right, it isn’t enough, or good enough. Who the hell sets up those rules??? We are so conditioned! So programmed to think we are less-than, not good enough, not productive enough, not […]
CARLOS, ALWAYS HAPPY
I have a friend who, no matter what befalls her, is always happy. For a long time, it would piss me off that she never lost her equilibrium. I think I was jealous that I didn’t know how to do that, too. But then she told me why. She grew up in horrifying circumstances. Imagine […]
FIDO
I love Fido. He is faithful, calm, loyal and very wise. He knows just when I’m hurting inside because he comes up to my side and rests his head on my lap, and looks up at me with those big brown eyes that say, “No worries, My-Human, I’ve got this! You just go relax!” Too […]
COMPUTER WOES
Have you ever felt like there was a mean mad genie inside your computer who just does not want you to get a single thing to work? I swear, there are days it would be better to go back to sleep! It really isn’t the computer – it’s an app that doesn’t work the way […]