I sent out an email to my list yesterday, asking people for feedback and input on issues they wanted to solve.
At the end, I wrote this: “…if you’re not willing to put yourself out and do something for yourself, to invest in yourself, to take a risk, to learn something new, to get some hand-holding from an experienced tapper and mentor, maybe it’s time for you to find someone else’s list to be on, because you’re just being dead weight in your own life, and that isn’t who I serve.”
Check out what happened next!
I got two really wonderful notes from someone who called me crazy (and a lot more!), and was infuriated that I called her ‘dead weight.’
Because they were so illuminating, I asked her for her permission to share her notes (which I tweaked a little because english is not her mother tongue, and reformatted a bit for easier reading). She was happy to share them with you.
I think you’ll enjoy them. Note #1:
“You are the craziest, meanest, cruelest person and a complete monster. I’m unsubscribing right now. I want to tear your eyes out! I can’t believe you say you market from the heart and then call people dead weight if they don’t do what you think they should do! How DARE you?”
And then she
listed all the (truly) dreadful things she had been struggling with for “so long I can hardly breathe anymore.” And why she felt she couldn’t do anything about it all. And why I was so mean (again).
And she unsubscribed.
Now wait! Don’t go thinking ‘poor Angela’ – wait till you see what she does next!
About four hours later, she re-subscribed. (Can you hear me laughing? This is cool!)
And here’s what she said about that – Note #2:
“Oh Angela you were so RIGHT!!!!! I AM dead weight in my own life! As soon as I sent that hateful email off, I realized I was blaming YOU for how awful and angry and desperate I felt right then. You really set me off!
“I sat down and started really, really looking at my life. With clear eyes. Being truthful. Even though it was so hard. Without the usual self-pity I drench everything in.
And I saw how I had been so messed up (and even so determined to stay messed up) because I THOUGHT I didn’t know how to fix it, for way too many years.
“I felt so helpless and so hopeless that I sat here and sobbed for three hours straight. Thinking no one could help me. Believing I’ll never have money, never have help, never be able to BEGIN dreaming, never mind making any one of my dreams come true.
“Which was so dumb because I really am good at what I do, and actually DO make good money … when I work … and do enjoy good things in my life!
“Where did this disappointed, discouraged, listless, want to die or fall down in tears person come from, anyway? Suddenly I wanted to dig inside of myself and just scrape her out of me and get rid of her and the heavy, heavy stone of gibralter in my back and in my stomach and her hideous screechy voice!
“I’m not sure why, but then I reread your email. I realized that you were right. And I realized that my solution is right here inside me. I even tell my clients that – but for me? no. But it’s been here all along, and I’ve been pushing it away, thinking it was pain. Thinking I couldn’t do anything about it.
“And I thought, if SHE was suicidal for 35 years (I knew this about you already), and SHE could get out of it just using tapping, as a plain beginner with no counseling or coaching skills, and here I am a trained practitioner, why can’t I do something like that in my own life?
“And I thought, I really am the dead weight. All my doubts and fears and disbeliefs are heavy loads that tug me down all day every day.
“I insist that “I can’t” do this or that, that “I don’t want” to do this or that – my pain and despair has become like a badge of honour I wear around, and talk about, and complain about, and insist that it’s true, and that I can’t do anything about it, and even make excuses for it. And I lose friends or get pity from them, and I go to bed at night feeling so tired and so disgusted with myself and my life.
“Angela, I DECLARE: This is the END of that. I hereby am re-subscribing.
(And she did, by getting the freebies here: http://EFTBooks.com and here: http://IDareYouRadio.com)
“It’s my first step to getting out from under the dead weight. I can’t wait to hear your interview with Malinda Zarate because fear and anger have had the part of me that wants to be powerful without shame cornered and trembling for years.
“I also got some of your Grab Bags after re-subscribing (http://EFTBooks.com) – I feel like you created them just for me!
“Thank you for being you. Thank you for having the courage to call it like it was for me.”
Can you believe I sat here and laughed and wept when I read all that? I did!
Because I have believed for years that YOU are the only answer to YOUR life.
I can create all kinds of processes and tools, all kinds of audios and teleclasses and ebooks for you to use, but YOU have the key, and YOU have to use it by deciding once and for all that you’re just NOT going to put up with this I-feel-bad-and-there’s-nothing-I-can-do-about-it crap.
Why did I use those words in my note: “you’re just dead weight in your life”?
Because that’s what one of my own coaches said to me years ago, and it jolted me right into anger and despair, too. He even went further than I did! He said, “Angela, your story is so old, and is so boring, I don’t want to hear it anymore.” Boy was I hurt!
But like K.L., after I ranted about how mean he was, I decided that I had to DO something about it. That’s what I wanted to do in my note. And it worked for K.L. Did it work for you, I hope?
DECIDE right now – even though you have not one clue what to do or how to do it. Decide that you will stop allowing that scared/angry/heavy part of you to be such a weenie right now, and that you will tap on it and harvest the energy it holds for you.
And I want you to commit to becoming even more of the awesome, beautiful, glorious, incredible unique fullness of you that is humanly possible, from now on.
Remember – it’s a process – you won’t fully blossom overnight. So decide to develop your patience and compassion for yourself. And to just get back up and wipe the mud off when you fall, and start walking again, even if you’re limping. And ask for help.
HOW to DO IT?
ASK the Universe, “What do I do now?” It will give you a tiny little message. It will be your FIRST thought.
DO what it says, even if it seems too little to do, or stupid, or even contrary or senseless. Learn to trust that little voice. It gets stronger and louder as you do.
And keep asking.
And keep doing what it says.
And ask for help.