One of the things he mentioned that I really appreciated was the idea that most people operate from a Strategy of Tragedy.
Evidence of that is everywhere – especially in the self-help world.
Our minds are all ready to look for the ‘bad,’ ‘work’ on it, pay lots of attention to it.
Ever heard any of these? “It’s The Economy.” “I’m broke.” “She sure has a lot of baggage!” “I’m trying to find and resolve my core issue.” “I have cancer.” “I’m resisting success.”
The strategy is find and identify the Bad, eliminate or resolve it, move on to the next Bad.
But when you get to age 90 and all you’ve focused on was finding the Bad, always hoping to change it, continually looking and trying to eliminate or resolve it…how will it feel to still have the Bad at the forefront of your mind?
I say quit it.
You’ve heard – how many times? – that what you focus on is what you get. It’s true.
You can stand there focusing on and bewailing your flat tire for the next ten years and nothing will change – except that you’ll starve to death standing there by the road! Your Bad is all you can see!
But if you use another way of thinking, you’ll decide that standing there with your face hanging out isn’t the happiest thing you could do, and you’ll either get the tools out and start changing the tire, or drag out your cell phone and call for help.
You’ve now moved – at least partially – into the Happiness Continuum. How far you move into it depends on how much you allow yourself to enjoy the experience.
Why do I call it the Happiness Continuum?
Because that’s how I see it. I see an actual never-ending river of energy – kind of like a brilliant, opalescent stream of bright, shiny particles and energy and movement – all containing heart-bursting happiness. Like a river, or the Milky Way.
It has edges, and a thick, condensed middle. You can feel yourself getting close to it, moving into it, getting to the center of it. There are any number of ways to hang out with it – you can be an observer from the shore, you can stick your toe in and feel it, wade in ankle deep, or you can jump in and swim and dive and play in Happiness.
You were probably brought up with thoughts like ‘who do you think you are?’ and ‘if you’re going to do anything, might as well do it right,’ and ‘whatever you do it’s never enough,’ and so on – all those spiral-down thoughts laid upon you by parents, peers and professionals who said they were Right and you were Too Young or Didn’t Know any Better.
But you do know better.
You know what happiness is – every one of us has experienced it at least once in our lives! Now it’s up to you to CHOOSE to BE there. Consciously. Knowingly.
A client asked me, “that’s all fine and good, Angela, but what do I do when I feel angry. I don’t like being angry, it feels wrong to be angry, but the more I resist it or even tap on it, the worse it gets.”
That’s because he’s resisting the thoughts and the energy! Holding back the energy takes more energy than the anger!
I said be happy being angry! Admit you’re angry! Acknowledge it and enjoy the energy ripping through you! And say, “Man, I am so ticked off! This is amazing, all this juice flowing through me! I’m going to go off to a safe place and have a little tantrum!”
So you go into the bathroom and tap on your collarbone and say how mad you feel. Honor it. Anger is the volition – the moving force – behind the change you want to see made.
And here’s the way to transform that energy into pure, creative power: say, “OK, I’m feeling this juice, so what’s my first step to use this energy creatively so I can bring resolution to this situation?”
Instead of thinking you’re ‘bad’ for being angry, say yes to it, and start choosing to move NOW to the Happiness River. “What’s my first step to feel happy again?”
It’s not as hard as you might think.
When my new computer died last week, I could have been pretty angry. I was, in fact – for about 2 minutes. Then I remembered – oh yeah, being mad without a set goal is no help, and just makes me feel helpless and powerless. What would I prefer, instead?
“What would I prefer instead?” is the key here.
Well, it was pretty obvious – I would have preferred to feel happy; to have a functioning computer; to be able to write emails and make posts on my sites.
You can’t change what you can’t change, so you choose happiness and change what you CAN change.
I couldn’t change my computer being busted at that moment. But I could choose to be happy as I took it in to the Mac doc; as I went down to the local library to write and post stuff. Being grumpy would have served no one, and indeed, would have made for a worse experience.
You can stand with your back to the sun and complain about and fight your shadow your entire life. It’s fruitless.
Choose to turn to the sun. Let the warmth soak in, and fill your heart with the way YOU want to feel.
And instead of expecting the world to give you money, health or love, radiate it first by simply choosing Happy. Money, health and love will see you and feel you and come running right into your field – can you see them shouting out, “I want that! I want to be part of her! I want to play!”
Give up the Strategy of Tragedy.
Choose the Happiness Continuum.
Please start to let go of the seriousness of everything – it’s so heavy, so dread-full, so…boring. Aren’t you just really, really tired of the seriousness of it all?
Yes, of course! Give importance to the important things in life! But let go of the weight of it. Take a swim in the Happiness River.
And remember I love you –
© Angela Treat Lyon 2011 • All Rights Reserved
Published by Out Front Productions, LLC
Kailua, Hawaii USA • 808-261-0941